Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Bring it on God

OK big fella, your holyness on high, throw as much rain and lightning at me this evening as you like. Do your worst. Lob your weather down on me ... your destructive electric forks. C'mon, it's me against you. Direct. Face to face.

Remember tho God ... though a flash flood or electrocution could be imminent right now ... we've faced each other before. Oh don't you remember? It was on that operating table back in 1984. Remember now big guy? Yeah, and who won that time? Well the pure existence of this blog proves that I did.

In conclusion, I'm stronger than God. Here endeth the sermon.

PS: The thing pissing me off most right now is that, with all this heavy rain, satellite TV reception is totally gone and I can't watch Kinga on Big Brother in her first interview since being evicted.

8 comments:

The Goldfish said...

You compare a near miss with death and weather disrupting Big Brother?... Okay.

You may indeed be stronger than God, but it seems the power of reality TV is even greater still.

Damon said...

I am obviously crushingly shallow, I apologise.

The Goldfish said...

At the very least you have mixed priorities - one week it's the death of the planet, the next week it's this - unless you did sell your soul on eBay to raise cash. Or perhaps you're renting it out every other week - next post I expect to be all about the G8 summit and then the one after that can be about cornflakes or paperclips or something.

I've been missing your weekly collumn on Ouch. There doesn't seem to have been one for weeks.

Katie said...

Hi damon, Do you like the rain and the storms then? I hate them, and they gave me a scare and when I slept I had a huge nightmare, I was always getting them, but this was a worse one.

I have gone off Big Brother, I think that it's geting too contraversal and they end up arguing. i wouldn't mind going in there and throwing a load of disability issues to the nation though! Do you think I will be good? I am missing your weekly column like Goldfish is, When's your next one. I love the Christmas one you did with the mention of my name in it! Mention me again if you want!

Damon said...

So I wrote a column!

Ya know, sometimes you need a bit of a break after having written dozens and dozens of those things. We're redesigning the homepage soon actually so that my Editor's Column isn't the first thing you see and isn't given quite so much priority. The writers should be the focus, in my humble opinion.

The Goldfish said...

I was really very sorry to read your latest collumn, Damon - that really turned my stomach. If you had been a group of people from a mixture ethnic minorities and they had used offensive slang terms they would have committed a crime according to Section 5A (1) of the Race Relations Act 1976.

Makes you wonder whether we ought to get similar protection. Most of the time I'm all for freedom of speech, but when your friend gets insulted like this and there's no comeback, it really puts you in the mood for kicking some butt...

Katie said...

Hi Damon, That's a great idea for the Ouch homepage! i reckon all the writers will love that. Any chance of me writing something for you in the near future something like interviews. I read your column, hope you like the email I sent you about it.

Eliza said...

Oh, I'm with Damon. Missing appointment reality tv is truly tragic. Especially when it's awesomely bad reality tv.

Of course, I also cried when _Punky Brewster_ got pre-empted for football. But I was like eight then. Obviously, I'm much older and wiser and more mature now: now, I'd never care about missing a sitcom.

And, I don't cry: I just curse and throw things.