Before I even start writing I know I will do this post no justice whatsoever. I'm about to tell you of my delusional high temperature dreams of the last few days in the full knowledge that hearing about other peoples' dreams is one of the most boring things ever. My pal Sara always thinks her dreams are fascinating, as an example, and regularly relates the weird goings-on in her mind. Usually far more fantastical and extra-earthly in the head, less interesting when spoken out loud to someone who never had that perspective nor the touchstones or events that served to create that particular in-head mosaic.
I'll keep it short.
Thursday afternoon the temperature really started and I went to bed shivvering. I started to drift in and out of sleep after a couple of hours and the weirdness started. Having the radio on in the background probably didn't help.
It's so hard to explain but seriously screwed my head up for a good 24 hours. I dreamt that words no longer existed. Worse than that, thoughts of words didn't exist. Something had happened to the brains of everyone in the world - be it by parliamentary decree, virus or mass manifestation - that meant words, signs, signifiers, concepts ... none of that meant anything. We all had to start again with language and thoughts.
I found myself in a big room full of people. I was writing things down, things that would have been intelligible sentences some hours before but were now alphabet soup. Meant nothing. But needed meaning attached to them. So this whole process of giving new meaning to old words started at a giddying rate.
I'd write the sentence: "glastonbury is a fabulous festival". It would mean nothing to me. I would have to attach a meaning to it, say: "I'd like a cup of tea" or "the avenue is very leafy" or "snow". But how to keep up?
Nothing meant anything any more. new concepts were joining old phrases and being forgotten almost instantaneously ... though others seemed to be picking it all up a little quicker than me.
Remember, this was a worldwide phenomenon. No one in the world could communicate with others properly any longer least alone form cogent thoughts in their own minds.
So I guess it was as much about the power of language as it was about world collapse and headfuck. It could have been interesting if it wasn't so disturbing.
I'd wake from time to time to hear snatches of news on Radio 5 which typically melted into my dreams and became equally meaningless or rather I was trying to seek new meaning from old phrases like: "Blair flies to washington ahead of G8 summit". Meant nothing, not in the new world order. People's brains didn't work in the same way as before,you see. Everything slipped out.
I've egged this enough now.
If anyone is in the slightest bit interested in analysing that particular dream then please feel free. Yes it probably means I'm a gay under-achiever with an elektra complex or something.
My head sorted itself out a bit by Friday afternoon but I found it a really terrifying dream or delusion or whatever it was because I was half awake, sometimes fully. Try perceiving a world without a language or even words or ideas attached to what you're seeing or experiencing yet knowing you are intelligent all at the same time. I'm pretty damn sure there is someone reading this who probably goes through similar regularly.