I think I'm going to be on the radio next week talking about getting married.
I believe I'm discussing all the visual stuff. It's a terribly sight-oriented thing, I've realised. I am to be wed later in the year which is why I'm dwelling on it, incidentally, and presumably why "the radio" is interested.
It's all about design. It's all about look. Yes it's about providing a meal and working out seating plans - I can contribute to that - but much of the rest of it is very visual.
OH OK so I CAN choose readings for the ceremony, I CAN choose the music that we walk up/down the aisle to (I get confused which is up and which is down; this upsets my future wife more than it should really). But clothes. Decor. Centrepieces. Flowers?
That's just the start. The further you wade into creating your own wedding, the more involved it gets, the more minutiae has to be chewed over.
And what about that moment when the bride appears? After having made so much effort, and having paid for a make-up artist, what's the correct response from a partner who can't see?
"You look lovely, darling," feels like it could easily be found out as a bit of a fib.
I'll be missing that knocked-out-of-my-socks bit when she turns up in her dress, looking wholesome and beautiful. Usually I compliment her on smell of perfume or whether her hair feels silky, things like that, but .... well ... I'm gonna have to get creative on the big day I think.
"Your aura is ..." naw. "The force is strong in you today ..." nope. I'll work it out.