Tuesday, May 22, 2007

My first massage, ever.

Have been meaning to write about this for a few days now. Last Thursday I had my first ever massage. That is to say, my first ever professionally implemented massage.

I was really unsure of it! I knew I needed to do some serious relaxing after my rather tough couple of months and thought that maybe a good work over would help. But there are certain issues.

At 6:30,, Ella turned up at my door. Kristina (girlfriend ... keep up) let her in. Ella had 'done' her before. She found her on a website for women; they will not visit male clients for safety reasons unless a female partner is also there. Good precaution ... if your clients aren't the next Rose and Fred West, that is. Luckily for Ella, Kristina and I only really have one perversion at the moment - our obsession for the TV drama Lost.

I went first. And eek, everyone, did you know you have to take your clothes off? I wore just my boxer shorts! You can betcha that if everyone knew that particular detail then their trade would fall off pretty darn swiftly don't ya think?

I ripped my jeans off. The ones I got in Macys. Threw them on the couch with my T-shirt, resisted the urge to dance for her and then got on the massage table thing she'd brought along. Face down. Back upwards. Putting face through a hole thing at the end.

Felt awkward. Didn't know where to put my arms. OK, they were alongside me but I kept wanting to move them. Too self aware. I had towels over the top of me, so Ella exposed only the bits she was working on at a given moment. Why am I writing this in so much detail? I'm aware I'm probably the only person who'd never had a massage so I'll skip the details as you'll already know them.

Being a man, I was, um, a little anxious. I've only ever received bodily attention from former partners. I'm pleased to say that my worst fear, an unforgiving and obvious arousal, did not happen. I'd got quite anxious about this before hand. As all men know, this can happen at the most inappropriate of times and doesn't necessarily corelate with mental arousal. So can be utterly meaningless, not a window into a sick little mind. Anyhoo, it didn't happen. I was probably too nervous anyway.

She worked on my back. Mmmm. Backbone clicked fairly early on, releasing a bit of pressure. Nice. I gradually got into it and the hour went by in a whirlwind as I laid there, taking interest and note in what she was doing to me. It was actually just really fascinating but also really lovely that a stranger can come along and be so gentle and personal with you.

I had a full body massage. I know I like a good back rubbing but wasn't sure I'd like the rest. I was particularly surprised to note that the stomach massage she gave me was particularly relaxing ... and arms too. Arms, lead to shoulders, lead to neck and back, I guess. I weirdly felt the tension slipping away as she worked on these areas. Yay for the internet - I knew we'd find a use for it one day.

The next few days afterwards I felt really relaxed. A lot of tension had gone and the lack of bodily tension affects your mental state too ... and that's why I'm thinking of having another one in a couple of weeks.


circus girl swirl said...

That sounds wonderful!

alice said...

For a couple of years, I had a standing Friday afternoon appointment with a very good massage therapist. She is quite wonderful, and I know that a lot of my improved health and well-being during that time was due entirely to her treatments. I've since not been able to afford the luxury, but do hope to go back again soon, maybe at least once a month. It's one of the best things that you can do for yourself.

Have you heard of stone massages? I had one of those once, where warmed stones were placed in strategic spots while the therapist worked on other areas. Pure bliss.

Glad to know that you finally tried one out. I know they really do help me.

BloggingMone said...

Glad you enjoyed that. My sister-in-law's sister is a massage therapist, which is quite convenient. I don't like stomach massage, it's giving me the giggles all the time, which is not very relaxing at all.
It has become very poular to have little massage booths at airports for all the stressed business people. They make you sit down on a massage chair. Fortunately one does not have to take one's clothes off right in the middle of the airport. It takes only 15 minutes, but I have tried it several times and it is quite refreshing and relaxing, too.

Julia said...

Speaking of "Lost," I told you the actor who plays Jack spoke at my uni graduation...he mentioned me in the pseech as well! I'd told the school newspaper that I'd never heard of them and that I liked previous years' speakers better, so he said, "I understand the feelings of your friend Julia Kite. Julia, are you here? I read your review. Hi, I'm Matt Fox." You can get the audio of it at this link, and my part starts at the one minute fifteen second mark:


Leese said...

Aha - the infamous massage! See, that's it now - there's no going back; once you have one, you want another, and another - it's like heroin. Allegedly.

Interesting that you found the stomach massage beneficial. Many people (if they're not too ticklish) do - it's a very common place to hold tension. And actually, if you're finding that your thighs are feeling all wibbly and tense and jellyish, you can betcha it's tension eminating from the stomach area that's doing it. Something to do with meridians, or something.

There you go, see. You learn something new every day.

The folks over at Relax are great, too, for a 20 minute pick-you-up. Pricey though. Take advantage of the 3-for-2 offer, which I stupidly never did, or ask about the impending discount for Beeb staff.

Damon said...

Julia: wow! I went to YouTube! That's really funny and fantastic! How bbrilliant. If you're still a littl unsure as to who Matthew Fox is, I'm happy to enlighten you. Just call.

Leeso: Gosh, I remember you! ;) This Thursday, I reckons, I'm gonna get me one of them massages again.

Circus, Alice, Mone: it's a whole new world or something! I've discovered an element of humanity that didn't exist til 2 weeks ago or something. Blah.

I've still got Matthew Fox coming thru my speakers telling me how great I am for having graduated ... quite nice as I never went to my own graduation ceremony ... oh he's just mentioned you again 8 mins or so in, Julia. "do not apologise [for who you are]". "as of tomorrow you're the author of your own life". Wow, checkout the technology that allowed me to be at your graduation ceremony from here in London. Wow and that guy from Lost.

Gregg Mulherin said...

I think that’s the common fear most men like us have in having a female therapist. Anyway, good to hear you enjoyed your first massage. I hope it’s a beginning of a healthy lifestyle for you.

Gregg Mulherin