Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Oh Mr Confectioner please ...

Dear Toblerone,

I'm quite excited about this and think you will be too.

It was my birthday last Sunday so I was given a rather large Toblerone bar. Unlike other chocolate bars I recall from my youth, I swear yours has got bigger. Is this true?

Whilst eating a chunk of your marvellous product today, I had something of an earth shattering idea I felt I needed to share with you.

Clearly you have cornered (no pun intended) the market for triangular chocolate. Well then, how about creating a circular bar to complement your range?

Just round off the triangular tips on your bar (they can hurt the roof of the mouth a little if you're not too careful actually, I don't know if your user testing has ever discovered that?) and a new bar will be born.

I've been singing in the bathroom and, it's OK: 'circular' fits equally well into your jingle which is already non-sensical, i.e. circular people, circular stteepels, bees, honey, etc. So no great marketing budget needed. In fact, I'd happily sing 'circular' in the places where 'triangular' currently appears ... if that's at all useful. I'm quite available: you can email me via this blog or call me in the office like Katie Fraser does.

I know what you're thinking. Wouldn't a circularesque Toblerone look a little like failed 80s chocolate bar, Logger? And yes, you might be right. But remember, Logger was an inferior bar with no chew even if it has the semi-circular / flat look that I envisage the new Circular Toblerone bar would have.

I do hope I have helped you out a little with your ultimate gift confectionary. To be honest there has been little innovation over there in Switzerland (I assume that's where you're still based?) after white chocolate Toblerones and those snow-capped ones you started producing for the Christmas market in the mid 90s. I don't want to use the word 'disappointed' but Christmases and birthdays are getting a little samey now that I'm in my 30s.

Yours sincerely

Damon A Rose

8 comments:

Julia! said...

Happy birthday Damon!

BloggingMone said...

Happy birthday Damon! And may all your birthday wishes come true.
The idea of having a circular Toblerone is simply irresistible. Let's hope and pray that at least one of the Nestlé managers is a regular visitor to your blog. If so your next birthday will be brightened by a circular Toblerone tasting like Indian curry ( hope you still have a crush on Indian food...)
In the meantime and to avoid further accidents with the tip of that triangles in your mouth I can suggest the following from my own experience: Place a Toblerone bar in the sun to soften the tips and then let a book drop on it. The shape is just perfect after that.

Katie said...

Belated Birthday wishes to you Damon!

Love the post about Toblerone, haven't had a Toblerone since I was little, as I used to like them then.

The idea of a circular bar of chocolate is very clever and I can't wait to eat one! Make it mint can you as I love minty chocolate bars. The only circular chocolate I can think of, are Aero Bubbles, have you tried those Damon? They can be quite nice and they melt in your mouth too as soon as you eat them.

Charlesdawson said...

I'm not bothered about the milk chocolate toblerone but gimme gimme gimme their dark chocolate version! They can make that one any shape they like as far as I'm concerned.

sink sink socks said...

Watkinson's children were of that uncomfortable schwangere sex umsonst species who nevergo to bed; at least never without all manner of resistance.

Katie said...

Oi! Damon! I want licensing rights money to use my name in this post! LOL!

Oh god! Famous by Damon again!

Sarcasm will get you knowhere! LOL!

(P.S I don't mean it! ) :-)

Katie said...

Ha! Ha! (Sorry!)

Anonymous said...

Toblerone! Yum....