Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Bring it on God

OK big fella, your holyness on high, throw as much rain and lightning at me this evening as you like. Do your worst. Lob your weather down on me ... your destructive electric forks. C'mon, it's me against you. Direct. Face to face.

Remember tho God ... though a flash flood or electrocution could be imminent right now ... we've faced each other before. Oh don't you remember? It was on that operating table back in 1984. Remember now big guy? Yeah, and who won that time? Well the pure existence of this blog proves that I did.

In conclusion, I'm stronger than God. Here endeth the sermon.

PS: The thing pissing me off most right now is that, with all this heavy rain, satellite TV reception is totally gone and I can't watch Kinga on Big Brother in her first interview since being evicted.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Sun = death

I note how many people are loving the hot weather. Really scorching hot 32 degree weather here in London today. People are sitting outside at pubs drinking and enjoying the heat ... making plans for weekends away etc.

My main thought, though, is "hell, the planet is dying".

Is that right or wrong?

Bit by bit the global warming stats are coming out. Just last week it was suggested again that we've got it wrong and the situation is almost irreversable.

sunshine = dying planet? Or sunshine=lovely summer we all deserve?

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Chinese supermarket

Wow, wahey yip yo! Have been to a chinese supermarket this evening. It was fantastic.

The whole place really reeked of herbs and spices. The completely brilliant thing was stepping into another culture tho. So much stuff there from sources I've never heard of.

I was particularly pleased to pick up some powdered cream coconut which sounds nice and simple to add into oriental cooking. Having tins or cartons of coconut milk aren't great, they don't get fully used and just go off in my fridge. But powdered, wow, will last forever! Only cost about 30p too. Oh and a huge big freezer sack of peeled and ready garlic, frozen, just 70-something pence!

The newspapers were talking about how Ice Green Tea is the big trendy thing to drink in Japan at the moment so I bought some of that too ... it comes in a can. It's flavoured with jasmin tho so not too sure about it. Am nothing if not a fashion victim tho ... OK so buying into fashions several thousands of miles away now too.

Didn't really fancy buying the dried black moss ... couldn't work out what to do with that. BMoss on toast for breakfast?

Anyhoo, if you can get there it's called Wing Yip and the one I went to was on the Edgeware Road, well, Staples Corner really.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

I hate hearing other people's dreams

Before I even start writing I know I will do this post no justice whatsoever. I'm about to tell you of my delusional high temperature dreams of the last few days in the full knowledge that hearing about other peoples' dreams is one of the most boring things ever. My pal Sara always thinks her dreams are fascinating, as an example, and regularly relates the weird goings-on in her mind. Usually far more fantastical and extra-earthly in the head, less interesting when spoken out loud to someone who never had that perspective nor the touchstones or events that served to create that particular in-head mosaic.

I'll keep it short.

Thursday afternoon the temperature really started and I went to bed shivvering. I started to drift in and out of sleep after a couple of hours and the weirdness started. Having the radio on in the background probably didn't help.

It's so hard to explain but seriously screwed my head up for a good 24 hours. I dreamt that words no longer existed. Worse than that, thoughts of words didn't exist. Something had happened to the brains of everyone in the world - be it by parliamentary decree, virus or mass manifestation - that meant words, signs, signifiers, concepts ... none of that meant anything. We all had to start again with language and thoughts.

I found myself in a big room full of people. I was writing things down, things that would have been intelligible sentences some hours before but were now alphabet soup. Meant nothing. But needed meaning attached to them. So this whole process of giving new meaning to old words started at a giddying rate.

I'd write the sentence: "glastonbury is a fabulous festival". It would mean nothing to me. I would have to attach a meaning to it, say: "I'd like a cup of tea" or "the avenue is very leafy" or "snow". But how to keep up?

Nothing meant anything any more. new concepts were joining old phrases and being forgotten almost instantaneously ... though others seemed to be picking it all up a little quicker than me.

Remember, this was a worldwide phenomenon. No one in the world could communicate with others properly any longer least alone form cogent thoughts in their own minds.

So I guess it was as much about the power of language as it was about world collapse and headfuck. It could have been interesting if it wasn't so disturbing.

I'd wake from time to time to hear snatches of news on Radio 5 which typically melted into my dreams and became equally meaningless or rather I was trying to seek new meaning from old phrases like: "Blair flies to washington ahead of G8 summit". Meant nothing, not in the new world order. People's brains didn't work in the same way as before,you see. Everything slipped out.

I've egged this enough now.

If anyone is in the slightest bit interested in analysing that particular dream then please feel free. Yes it probably means I'm a gay under-achiever with an elektra complex or something.

My head sorted itself out a bit by Friday afternoon but I found it a really terrifying dream or delusion or whatever it was because I was half awake, sometimes fully. Try perceiving a world without a language or even words or ideas attached to what you're seeing or experiencing yet knowing you are intelligent all at the same time. I'm pretty damn sure there is someone reading this who probably goes through similar regularly.

After the storm ...

Jesus! So last week I got a small bout of food poisoning and this week I get some gastric flu thing. I feel embarrassed now that I took a day off work for the food poisoning after having experienced the stay-in-bed 3 day shivvering exhaustion, etc of this gastric flu. Flu caught from a mere babe. Children always always always spread diseases. Can't stop coughing my flipping guts out now either. Know that jarred chest feeling where you need to cough but it's too painful to cough any more?

Anyhoo, I'm not one to complain (yeah right).

What have I got to say today. Well not a lot. It's a stupid hour in the morning and I can't sleep. I have, however, watched the first episode of the new series of Six Feet Under (series 5) that was broadcast in the US last Monday. Thank you to that excellent technology known as BitTorrent and my 2 meg broadband connection. Might wait til the rest hits E4 though, s'better that way and less hassle. How come I don't know anyone else that watches SFU? It's the best thing on TV ever!

I've not eaten since Wednesday. Well barely. Food hurts. Oddly I'm not missing food. Oh and oddly I'm putting on weight ... how the hell does THAT happen? I always knew there was 'another plan' for me, if you know what I mean. Like I wasn't the same as all those other human beings.

Monday, June 06, 2005

My flawed ebay plan

Currently I am poor. impoverished.

A couple of weeks ago I embarked on a plan to start selling stuff on ebay to make some extra money.

I've started selling some of my audio books and the odd DVD. The trouble is I have only made 12.50 so far and I'm already running out of things to sell. I really thought I'd cracked this poverty thing too.

Friday, June 03, 2005

generalities on Friday

Kristina went and bought the season 3 box set of Six Feet Under today and we were gonna watch it this evening. Whaddya know, my DVD player has packed up. How pissed off am I? Didn't even realise the box set was out until today. If you've not seen SFU you've got to get it. It's a life alteringly superb show ... I'm sure you'll be able to get a series 1 box set off ebay for less than a tenner. Well worth it.

I've gone all geeky looking at DVD players online. Seen a fabulous one for 41 quid that allows you to view MPG, AVI, DIVX and all sorts of other formats that you can illegally download off the web with BitTorrent, burn to CD and then just take thru into the lounge and watch on yer TV with this little beauty of a gizmo. I can post more details here if anyone's interested ... can't be arsed to do any of that linking magic from this post today.

Amazing rainstorm this afternoon. Anyone get caught in it? It was, as Kumail from Big Brother would say: "fabulous". I got so wet ... and I really love rain ... as I was explaining to Rain in the office earlier before I realised she might think I was ripping the piss and or being faintly pornographic. "I just like being covered in rain" I said in a passionate voice. Because I do. It's accessible weather, it comes to get you. Blue skies, rainbows, fog and sun stay up in the air well away from me. There ought to be a law against it.

Oh and regarding my earlier post about reclaiming words. That was my attempt at ironic humour.

For less irony though, check out the new Sound TV channel, it's on Sky Digital #277. It's the most horrific pile of crap ever. Remember The Comedians on ITV in the 70s? It's like that, only here in the 21st century and hence scarily scary. "ere, and I'll tell you anuvva fing my muvva in law says". It's even got that bloke who used to do the Capital Gold Breakfast Show with his 'naughty boys'. Dreadful.

Oh and is Lenny Henry's so-called comedy show on BBC1 currently the very worst show ever aired on my TV set this last decade? Shouting and smiling and laughing your way thru a script doesn't make it any better if it's piss poor. And it is totally piss poor. The audience must be devoid of any self worth for laughing else 'caught in a moment' that I could never get caught in.

Reclaiming words fun

Things Damon has learnt never to say to women #43

I use the word 'cunt' because I am reclaiming it for you

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Not a Lotto

It's 2:43am. I'm feeling sick. I had a nice convenient takeaway last night that woke me up from the inside at midnight thirty. I feel rough and there's no let-up. I will go an investigate some vitamins in a minute to try and help. I feel so unhealthily vile. A nice fizzy drink may also help, I'm thinking.

Anyhoo ... the reason I'm up at this time is because I suddenly remembered I could be a millionaire.

About a month ago I signed up online to 16 games on the Lotto (links to the numbers on the BBC site, not the Lotto itself cos I can't have you joining up on a whim).

Why did I do it? Well I am so lacking in money at the moment that it actually sounded like a good option to invest 16 quid in this dippy lottery. 10 games later I've not even won a tenner, though.

In my head I was thinking "you've gotta be in it to win it" hence my ticket purchase. Until mid June I am one of those who volunteers to pay stupid tax.

On telling my sister last week how little money I have right now she said "why don't you play the lottery?" It's like we're all caught up on the lie ... but in one weird move all money problems - and hence a lot of life problems too - coudl be wiped away. Just think about it for a second.

1 in 14 million chance of winning the big jackpot. I must be a crazy flipping frog. Yes, the money would be far better spent down the dogs.

... one of those fizzy orangey vitamin drinks that costs 5 quid for 10 tablets would be good right now.